shit

Today something very not nice happened to me.

An asshole customer said some nasty racist things to me, and beacuse I was the supervisor I couldn't yell at him or scream or even say something calmly and meanly.

Usually I make a point of telling my staff to respect all customers no matter where they're from, I try to be fair to everyone. which lands me in hot water sometimes because sometimes people clearly think they deserve better treatment than the rest of the people.

Some of them are owners of companies or frequent customers, and that's fair enough because it's not racism or bigotry.

This local guy though was just looking for a fight, I'm trying to help him by giving him options, and he's treating me like I'm a fuckin slave of his trying to steal his money. So I left him coz I felt that any further conversation with him would not be constructive.

Then he speaks to the receptionist of the center about how rude I am, and he looks at me and says "go back to iraq, you deserve everything Saddam did you to"

Now to be honest, in my 15 years of living in NZ and Australia, I've never ever run into open cruel racist talk like this in my life, I was so socked I just stood there looking at him. I didn't feel rage as I felt saddness. you know sometimes a person can say something and inadvertantly hit a button, that guy really cut me.

I read a book a long time ago by Bruce Courtney called Tandia, about a girl (called Tandia) who was half indian, half african, and who was living in south africa. she was not sure of her identity, of what she should call herself, untill she gets raped by a afrikaan army officer who hatefully calls her "kaafir" (a derogatory term for africans in south africa).

I remembered this because as I mentioned previously in my blog, I may be born in iraq, I may speak arabic with an iraqi accent, but I don't really feel iraqi, I don't know what I feel, I have my western identity, I have my arabic culture, I have my islamic background. but where do I belong really ?
This guy's words hit my like daggers as he told me what I was, an iraqi who deserved what saddam did to him.

I didn't say anything then because I tell my staff that the customer is always right, that even if they customer gets angry, they should smile and not yell back. so as a matter of principle, plus the fact that I didn't want to get down to that guy's level, I didn't say anything, and it hurt more to be silent.

Afterwards all my staff came over and were very supportive, don't worry sir he's a nobody, don't mind what he said, it made me feel better but still, I really wanted to do something humiliating and hurtfull to him, like squeezing his balls untill his eyes watered.

Anyways, in my blog, my space, my oyster, I can talk back to him.....

I was going to say something very rude, but I realised it was not worth it. whatever I would say, I would disrepsect myself.

So, الله يجازيك