Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Good girls vs bad girls

The following is an excerpt from a facebook post I saw today

تزوج اجنبيي وخليها تأسلم احسن ما تتزوج عربيي تطلعك عن دينك

ترى أغسل أيدك من البنات هين .. مسلمات مين الله يخليك ..إلا من رحم ربي و هن قله

A posts : It's better to marry a non non and make her convert than to marry an arab who takes you our of your deen (religion)

B replies: Hey, give up on the girls here, Please, what muslim girls ? The good ones are very few.

End of facebook post.

I thought this was interesting and thought to comment, but since A is not my list of friends I could not, so I decided to blog about it.

Isn't it interesting ? That those two arab men living in Sydney decide that there are no good girls to marry, that most arab girls are not good muslims and so it's better to marry a non arab non muslim and convert her.

What are the problems with this idea ? too many to list but I'll try to.

1- There is an old story of an old man going out to the mosque for fajr making wudhu outside his house, he also sees a thief just coming back from a night of ... thieving, washing away the evidence from his hand outside HIS house. Now the man praying sees the thief and thinks "he must also be going out to pray", and the thief sees the old man and thinks to himself "He must also be a thief coming home from robbing someone"

Now I know this is overly simplistic. But in case I will use this example. I've heard this very often from around the world that Muslim girls are baaaad because they are out on the street and in the clubs and doing all the haram they is available to them.

Now this may be true, there probably are plenty of Muslim girls in the clubs and on the streets and driving in guys picking up guys etc... BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT unless YOU were in those clubs looking for action, or in the street or the shopping center or in the chat rooms or wherever people hang out to flirt and pick up ? Doesn't that mean that the muslim men are just are crappy as those muslim women ?

The fact is, if there is a good girl she wouldn't be where you go, would she ?  she would be at wholesome places like the mosque or the university or the home. And I guess I'm playing into the stereotype that a good woman belongs at home, I don't mean that. She could be in the world place or at some workshop teaching and learning or at a coffee shop with her freinds etc... she would NOT be at  club at 2 am. I think I made my point here.

2- The Arab standard has always been that the man is allowed to go out and "experience" the world by drinking and gambling and getting around with as many girls as he wants. This is part of his growing up, and everybody in his family accepts and acknowledges it.

case study 1: I know a very dear friend of mine who used to live by himself, and he wanted to get married, so he asked around and was told that a certain girl is a respectable and good woman. He approached her and asked to marry here, just like that. Her parents were overseas so he asked her aunt, and her aunt was very happy and gave her blessings.
Later on the parents come back, the mother is very much against the marriage, the reason she gives is that she had had her eye on another suitable person for her daughter. A much older man who's rich and has "experience". That's actually what she tells my friend, he's more experienced in "life". Understandably he is confused and asks the mother is she prefers that goes out and drinks and bangs chicks for 15 years to be more suitable for her daughter.

case study 2: A person I know goes to university in another country away from his family, he stays with his grandmother. It becomes clear that he is involved with a girl from Europe. I talk to his grandmother about it, and she is upset. She wants her grandson to marry an Arab woman. "I told him, don't spend your time with that ajnabia (foreign) girl, just have your fun and leave her and marry an arab !" Yes, that is what this 75 year old lady was saying.

This same culture forbids the girl from sometimes even talking to another boy, if she is caught chatting with a boy, or sitting in the same car with a boy, she gets beaten, humiliated, and sometimes killed ! for doing something much much less than what a guy is allowed to do.

What would you expect a girl to do, or to think, when living in a society such as this ? A girl has just as much physical and emotional depth as a man.

Another question. Those guys that get with arab girls. Aren't those girls sisters of some other guy ? Isn't there massive hypocrisy is running after girls when you would kill your sister for doing what you want to do with those girls ? How dare you then turn around and condemn arab girls as no good ? This new arab culture of dancers and singers and actors that disseminate a new cultural norm or openness and promiscuity. You're allowing yourself to oggle at them and enjoy them and in the same time you're affected by them, don't you expect girls get affected by them as well ? Or do you you want the whole world to move and for your women to be the same old hijabi domicile servant at home ?

I'm not putting down hijab here.

3- The urban myth, the ideal of ideals. Marrying a non muslim. Making her muslim. It's MUCH BETTER everyone says.
The truth behind this is that this is what most men of this ... caliber, see, this is the type that flirts with them and wears the revealing clothing around them and allows them what others won't.
Arab men, wanting as much ..openness, as they can get their hands on, love that. So they of course want someone like that in their lives. When they look at arab girls, GOOD (we'll use good in this context to mean simply, conservative) girls. They're wearing non revealing clothing. They don't act flirtatiously. And the men just think "who needs this $hi+" and go run after the white girls. Who of course seeing the attention their attire and behavior gets them, start doing more of the same.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter if you're going to marry an arab or non arab. It's up to you, just tell lie to us and to yourself and say you're doing for the good of Islam. That's so Gaddafi-esque of you !

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